I do not possess such virtue. The "waiting game" of my #SAGradHunt is slowly coming to an end. I will be finding out in the latter half of next week about two of my graduate schools. Needless to say, I'm a little on edge. Why? Well, Colorado State will inform me if I am invited to interviews by next Friday...but they let me know this bit of information along with another dense piece of information. They decided to let us know that they received 270 applications. I about died reading that e-mail yesterday. As my mentor keeps telling me, Let Go and Let God. That's easier said than done, obviously. Well here's to waiting...
Another reason I don't possess this virtue of patience is because my futuristic self is always wanting the next exciting event in my life to happen. Recently, I was overwhelmed with my constant obsession of perusing job postings, opportunities abroad, and contemplating my decision to head back to school. I walked into my mentor's office last week when the new SOCs had started a position I had started just a year ago. My mood changed completely. I felt a surge of happiness and energy just being in the very building that had been my home for a year and a half. Being around the hustle and bustle of confusion and excitement the new SOCs were experiencing ultimately made me feel better. I was excited and wished I could be there with them running around like a chicken with their head cut off. But why was I so hung on the idea of exploring options still? Later that night, my mentor called me because she does not particularly enjoy my ambiguity when I won't admit something is wrong. As usual, she knows me all too well. She made me talk about these feelings I was having and helped me realize something. The feelings I felt while being in her office around the craziness, was exactly why I took this year off. That was my affirming moment, the affirmation I needed for myself to be ready to commit to a graduate program.
The anxietyI have felt, is all surrounded by the fact that I am dying to get into Student Affairs work. It is what makes me happy, makes me feel whole, and what gives me a sense of purpose and direction in life. I'm ready to move forward, but that is still months away. This is why my inclination to view other opportunities is so strong. Patience is something I am having to learn, but it has never been a strong point because of my focus and futuristic strengths. The life I hope to live in the future is what motivates me, but the thought of knowing all the hoops I must jump to get there drives me up the wall. I'm hoping in ten years I'll be able to live in the moment, but for now...here's to the future.
